Yeah, I'm wigging again.
But first. I am...Motor. That's right, we finally got our nicknames. Highlights: Robbie is "Won the Game", Andrew is "Aaron".
Now, back to me being flippy. So, I did it again. I threw inhibition to the wind (yes, I did that with no help, riiiighht...), and then suddenly, find myself in another quandary. Good lord, will I ever stop hitting on people? At this rate no, because it's been working at a frighteningly successful rate. This was probably not a bad thing in the long run...in the short run, it fucks things up. I no longer have the elbow room to procrastinate...Which means another phone call. Or three. Depending. I have a plan, actually (NO! Really?!), so in theory, I may escape by the scruff of my neck.
I don't really get it...I think, in the past two weeks, I have had more luck flirting than I have in the other 18 years of my life. And it's caused me nothing but confusion and pain because I managed going through high school doing essentially nothing of this sort. I am learning, but not evidently quickly. Unfortunately, these mistakes kind of involve other people, and that does bother me that I could screw up something between me and someone else.
Anyone I can vaguely emulate in terms of dating does this. For the longest time, I thought it was kind of immoral, but hey, now I'm doing it too! You know, kind of making approaches to multiple people and then deciding later which way you're going to go. I mean, in this case, it kind of makes sense, and I'm going to try and make this logical and less evil in the coming week. But fuck waiting...I'm going to have to make a call tomorrow. Otherwise, I'll wig again.
Isn't this fun? But hey, at least having something to worry about like this strokes my ego. Wow. I'm so screwed.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Tonight: the essentials
It was bloody brilliant. Nothing went as planned, but everything went as planned. I didn't expect anything...but everything I moved toward. It was brilliant. I am so content with myself right now...realizing the reality of a situation has allowed me to look around all 360 degrees. So many good things, and my natural environ is so far from what I would have expected.
Additionally, Dog Fish Head Ale is really good beer. Just to say.
Additionally, Dog Fish Head Ale is really good beer. Just to say.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
On a significantly less ranty note
My facebook wall was owned by birthday messages, and I want to say thank you to all who bombarded me, plus thanks to those who sent non-facebook messages as well.
On that note...Bert, you win. You just win. I don't know what it is about WWI era gas masks, but you win so hard.
On that note...Bert, you win. You just win. I don't know what it is about WWI era gas masks, but you win so hard.
Wrapup
Day started at 10pm: was showered, had cake, went out for half off. Overall, quite awesome. Got back, talked a bit, watched Awesometown (wtf?).
Learned something, learned to pay closer attention to whatever the fuck it is you do when not paying attention. And learn that when you don't pay attention, you miss certain details.
I will not deny any accusations of being a stupid freshman. God damn it.
I mean, it's bad enough when you realize something after the fact and think to yourself, 'oh shit, that was not a good idea'...it's worse when it has a chance of affecting something that actually matters to you.
Even three months ago, this was so not me. This was never even a glimmer in my mind. How could I have seen myself as so far above it and yet fall into the same trap as everyone else?
That's the problem with inherent nerdiness...when you suddenly find yourself attractive to others, you're unprepared for how easily you can get fucked over.
I'm also very paranoid. I've been paranoid since forever though. I really wish I had more than a single word to go on.
Learned something, learned to pay closer attention to whatever the fuck it is you do when not paying attention. And learn that when you don't pay attention, you miss certain details.
I will not deny any accusations of being a stupid freshman. God damn it.
I mean, it's bad enough when you realize something after the fact and think to yourself, 'oh shit, that was not a good idea'...it's worse when it has a chance of affecting something that actually matters to you.
Even three months ago, this was so not me. This was never even a glimmer in my mind. How could I have seen myself as so far above it and yet fall into the same trap as everyone else?
That's the problem with inherent nerdiness...when you suddenly find yourself attractive to others, you're unprepared for how easily you can get fucked over.
I'm also very paranoid. I've been paranoid since forever though. I really wish I had more than a single word to go on.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Songs reminding me that innocence is so fucking overrated
Dresden Dolls - Necessary Evil
Let's get lost
Fingers crossed
It is an ordinary evening
I am broadcasting are you receiving
Sick sick sound
All fall down
It is a necessary evil
Just like highway gas stations and people
I remember golden days when all this was a mystery
And you could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me
And if you find yourself without me
Can you find yourself without me
Can you find yourself without me
Can you find your self without me
Hi i'm fine
You are saying nothing but your tongue is getting blacker all the time
It is a measurable feeling
Seven on a scale from dead to breathing
I've connected speakers to my suitors at the discotheques
And they don't know the difference
Are they men or are they Memorex?
And if you find yourself without me
If you find yourself without me
C'mon find yourself without me
C'mon c'mon c'mon
And take your Listerine
I remember golden days when all this was a mystery
And you could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me
I remember golden days when all this was a mystery
And you could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me
And if you find yourself without me
If you find yourself without me
C'mon find yourself without me
C'mon c'mon c'mon
And take your Listerine
I love this fucking song. Thanks Patrick.
Let's get lost
Fingers crossed
It is an ordinary evening
I am broadcasting are you receiving
Sick sick sound
All fall down
It is a necessary evil
Just like highway gas stations and people
I remember golden days when all this was a mystery
And you could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me
And if you find yourself without me
Can you find yourself without me
Can you find yourself without me
Can you find your self without me
Hi i'm fine
You are saying nothing but your tongue is getting blacker all the time
It is a measurable feeling
Seven on a scale from dead to breathing
I've connected speakers to my suitors at the discotheques
And they don't know the difference
Are they men or are they Memorex?
And if you find yourself without me
If you find yourself without me
C'mon find yourself without me
C'mon c'mon c'mon
And take your Listerine
I remember golden days when all this was a mystery
And you could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me
I remember golden days when all this was a mystery
And you could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me
And if you find yourself without me
If you find yourself without me
C'mon find yourself without me
C'mon c'mon c'mon
And take your Listerine
I love this fucking song. Thanks Patrick.
Retrospect
Things are really crazy right now. Tomorrow I have a calc exam, my last non-final of the year (except RPC, but that's during finals).
And, tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of Chernobyl.
More important, tomorrow is the 19th anniversary of me.
I was talking to my mom, and I blithely said offhand that 19 is the first year you've been an adult, and is therefore the first year where you actually start getting old. My mom, 35 year head start and all, dismissed this. Apparently you don't start getting old til 25, though all the people I've heard complaining about feeling old haven't gone much further than 22.
Now that I think about it, it's really weird that the majority of the people I seem to hang out with are 20 or older. It's not a weird thing, it just feels really different, and really weird.
19 isn't exactly an age with a landmark to it. I mean, 16 and 18 are obvious, and for me at least, I got a car for my 17th birthday. But 19 is weird. It's the first year where it feels that, instead of growing up, you're grown up. Whether or not this is true, it definitely seems that society has acknowledged your adulthood and told you to go take advantage of it, to go to college, to get a job, to become a functional member of society. And this first year of college has made me realize that, even if I'm not noticing it, I'm being slid into adult society. By the time I graduate, I'll have a job, sign a lease somewhere, buy a car, and go about life. And though I'll be glad I'm not in classes anymore, I'll still just be going through the routine presented to me. And since this year has begun, the routine has been mine and mine alone. I am no longer living in a house with parental supervision. I am no longer restricted by a secondary set of rules adjudicated by someone other than myself. It is a credit to my parents how much of what they set before me I have adopted for myself, but that was my choice to make.
As this year and the three after it continue, it will become painfully clear exactly how much has been placed on my shoulders. I'm not saying I'll mind. It's just that I've never thought about it, and when I do now, I realize that the heaviest stones of the load I'll bear are already there. In reality, I've jumped the biggest hurdle already.
19 seems to be quite insignificant. It is the first year of adolescence when you stop noticing the difference...and the last year of adolescence. I have one more year where I'm just a surly teenager, and then a good ten of being a confused twenty-something. Ah, life.
And, tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of Chernobyl.
More important, tomorrow is the 19th anniversary of me.
I was talking to my mom, and I blithely said offhand that 19 is the first year you've been an adult, and is therefore the first year where you actually start getting old. My mom, 35 year head start and all, dismissed this. Apparently you don't start getting old til 25, though all the people I've heard complaining about feeling old haven't gone much further than 22.
Now that I think about it, it's really weird that the majority of the people I seem to hang out with are 20 or older. It's not a weird thing, it just feels really different, and really weird.
19 isn't exactly an age with a landmark to it. I mean, 16 and 18 are obvious, and for me at least, I got a car for my 17th birthday. But 19 is weird. It's the first year where it feels that, instead of growing up, you're grown up. Whether or not this is true, it definitely seems that society has acknowledged your adulthood and told you to go take advantage of it, to go to college, to get a job, to become a functional member of society. And this first year of college has made me realize that, even if I'm not noticing it, I'm being slid into adult society. By the time I graduate, I'll have a job, sign a lease somewhere, buy a car, and go about life. And though I'll be glad I'm not in classes anymore, I'll still just be going through the routine presented to me. And since this year has begun, the routine has been mine and mine alone. I am no longer living in a house with parental supervision. I am no longer restricted by a secondary set of rules adjudicated by someone other than myself. It is a credit to my parents how much of what they set before me I have adopted for myself, but that was my choice to make.
As this year and the three after it continue, it will become painfully clear exactly how much has been placed on my shoulders. I'm not saying I'll mind. It's just that I've never thought about it, and when I do now, I realize that the heaviest stones of the load I'll bear are already there. In reality, I've jumped the biggest hurdle already.
19 seems to be quite insignificant. It is the first year of adolescence when you stop noticing the difference...and the last year of adolescence. I have one more year where I'm just a surly teenager, and then a good ten of being a confused twenty-something. Ah, life.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Post-Carnival
Carnival is over...but was absolutely and totally insane. I don't even know where to start.
Many good things, some very weird things, and a lot of Booth.
We won the environmental award. It was kind of hilarious.
Two more weeks of class, then finals. Should be interesting.
Patrick was here yesterday, and should be here through this evening. It's been amazing to see him again after almost four months. A lot of venting and talking was done. Heh. It's been nearly 8 years since we've met...and we're finally getting our shit together.
Not much more to say. I have things I want to do this weekend, and I also want to run at least two more sessions of GURPS...not that I know when that'll fit in. I'll figure it out.
Many good things, some very weird things, and a lot of Booth.
We won the environmental award. It was kind of hilarious.
Two more weeks of class, then finals. Should be interesting.
Patrick was here yesterday, and should be here through this evening. It's been amazing to see him again after almost four months. A lot of venting and talking was done. Heh. It's been nearly 8 years since we've met...and we're finally getting our shit together.
Not much more to say. I have things I want to do this weekend, and I also want to run at least two more sessions of GURPS...not that I know when that'll fit in. I'll figure it out.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Today, we dance
Have you ever had that desire, that extremely difficult to suppress desire, to just wig out and dance? I have a few times, due to caffeine...but today was different.
WIG OUT! BWAH!
And on that note, I'm going to go to the AEPi house and build booth.
To steal from a friend:
L'chaim...BITCH!
WIG OUT! BWAH!
And on that note, I'm going to go to the AEPi house and build booth.
To steal from a friend:
L'chaim...BITCH!
Sunday, April 16, 2006
In summary
Today: Easter
Me: Jewish
"Christ may have risen...but the matzah hasn't."
Chag Sameach, you hip heebs and jumpin' jews.
Me: Jewish
"Christ may have risen...but the matzah hasn't."
Chag Sameach, you hip heebs and jumpin' jews.
Friday, April 14, 2006
DeWalt 1, Aaron 0
Yeah, power drills hurt when they miss. And hit your thumb. But after the initial torrent of blood and the fainting, I'm all right.
I have a few random plans for the car over the summer. They shouldn't be too expensive, but should improve things a bit:
1. Do the necessary repairs. That's going to be done probably at a shop, maybe before I get home. Along with registration and insurance, it's necessary.
2. Paint the heat shield. Take it out, paint, put it back in. Simple. And it'll look cool. And I'll use the black heat paint I already have.
3. Get some wheels. Either go to a junkyard, or get some OEM 7th gen rims off of ebay. They're cheap (no more than 200, and that's steep), and they look nicer than my current ones.
4. Fix trunk spring. 50 bucks, one spring, and some annoyance to take the old one off.
5. Replace antenna. Shouldn't be too expensive, or too difficult. And I can take that annoying copper wire out.
6. Be awesome.
I have a few random plans for the car over the summer. They shouldn't be too expensive, but should improve things a bit:
1. Do the necessary repairs. That's going to be done probably at a shop, maybe before I get home. Along with registration and insurance, it's necessary.
2. Paint the heat shield. Take it out, paint, put it back in. Simple. And it'll look cool. And I'll use the black heat paint I already have.
3. Get some wheels. Either go to a junkyard, or get some OEM 7th gen rims off of ebay. They're cheap (no more than 200, and that's steep), and they look nicer than my current ones.
4. Fix trunk spring. 50 bucks, one spring, and some annoyance to take the old one off.
5. Replace antenna. Shouldn't be too expensive, or too difficult. And I can take that annoying copper wire out.
6. Be awesome.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Reprise
Things are back to normal now. I'll go to classes today, finally get the articles I need for my paper from the library, and hopefully pick up the phone. I really annoy myself sometimes.
This weekend starts Build Week, so, in addition to studying for that physics test and doing that calc homework, I'm going to be building a lot of Booth. This should be interesting...and at least I can try to convince myself that the reason I haven't made the call is that I know I'm so spectacularly busy this weekend. That shouldn't stop me...I want to keep the line of communication open, even if it doesn't lead to anything in particular.
In other, random news, I have listened to the album Blast Tyrant, by Clutch. It's pretty damn good. I'm not a huge metal fan, but these guys are exactly what I'm looking for.
This weekend starts Build Week, so, in addition to studying for that physics test and doing that calc homework, I'm going to be building a lot of Booth. This should be interesting...and at least I can try to convince myself that the reason I haven't made the call is that I know I'm so spectacularly busy this weekend. That shouldn't stop me...I want to keep the line of communication open, even if it doesn't lead to anything in particular.
In other, random news, I have listened to the album Blast Tyrant, by Clutch. It's pretty damn good. I'm not a huge metal fan, but these guys are exactly what I'm looking for.
My room is being occupied...
...and it's fucking weird for reasons I CANNOT STATE FOR RISK TO MY PHYSICAL HEALTH. Ben and Orie know. They'd do best not to elaborate.
Pick up the phone...pick up the phone...PICK UP THE PHONE. MAKE THAT FUCKING CALL. I'm annoyed at myself. But I'll find time.
*sigh*
Absent boyfriends make things weird...especially when they suddenly become un-absent.
I feel so dirty now...
*tee-hee*
Yeah...slightly stream-of-consciousness...as long as no one looks over my shoulder, it should be fine.
And when the context is removed, everything will go back to normal.
Pick up the phone...pick up the phone...PICK UP THE PHONE. MAKE THAT FUCKING CALL. I'm annoyed at myself. But I'll find time.
*sigh*
Absent boyfriends make things weird...especially when they suddenly become un-absent.
I feel so dirty now...
*tee-hee*
Yeah...slightly stream-of-consciousness...as long as no one looks over my shoulder, it should be fine.
And when the context is removed, everything will go back to normal.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Music Recommendation: Heavy Weather
Heavy Weather
Weather Report
This album is one that I acquired recently, after hearing Dan sing the praises of Weather Report three or four years ago. It is a jazz album, and me not being terribly into jazz is one reason I never really tried that hard to pick it up. That being said, it is an excellent album, both musically complex and interesting, and also a lot of fun to listen to. I mentioned I'm not a big jazz person, so I won't try to give any amount of in-depth description, but I will say that anyone who likes music for the sake of listening to music should love this album.
Other current favorites:
Parliament/Funkadelic: I've been listening to both Maggot Brain, and Mothership Connection. A lot of fun.
Panic! At The Disco: As poppy as I'll get, but I like them a lot.
The Zutons: I wasn't sure what to expect, don't know how to categorize them either, but I like them.
Weather Report
This album is one that I acquired recently, after hearing Dan sing the praises of Weather Report three or four years ago. It is a jazz album, and me not being terribly into jazz is one reason I never really tried that hard to pick it up. That being said, it is an excellent album, both musically complex and interesting, and also a lot of fun to listen to. I mentioned I'm not a big jazz person, so I won't try to give any amount of in-depth description, but I will say that anyone who likes music for the sake of listening to music should love this album.
Other current favorites:
Parliament/Funkadelic: I've been listening to both Maggot Brain, and Mothership Connection. A lot of fun.
Panic! At The Disco: As poppy as I'll get, but I like them a lot.
The Zutons: I wasn't sure what to expect, don't know how to categorize them either, but I like them.
So far...
Well, I found out that I didn't get the job here, so I'm going to be in Boston during the summer. It kind of throws a wrench in my plans for room improvement among other things, but it means I'll probably make a bit more money, and get to spend some intimate quality time with my car. Very few people that I want to spend any amount of time with are going to be in the Boston area, with only a very small handful from CMU. And then, Zach, Patrick (maybe, he's a busy dude), and...Dan will be back, which will be awesome. Haven't seen him in a good 6 months. So, if anyone wants an excuse to travel to Boston, there's me. (yeah. right.)
In other news...I'm going to pick up that fucking phone...and make a call. At this point, I refuse to regret being an indecisive fuck. The last time I swallowed it and made a move, wonderful things happened.
In other news...I'm going to pick up that fucking phone...and make a call. At this point, I refuse to regret being an indecisive fuck. The last time I swallowed it and made a move, wonderful things happened.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Formal + Room Draw
Quick Update:
Formal was excellent.
Room Draw happened...I will be rooming with Jon in 306, which, though not the ideal situation, will work fine if we can rearrange the room over the summer.
Appointment notice tomorrow...
Formal was excellent.
Room Draw happened...I will be rooming with Jon in 306, which, though not the ideal situation, will work fine if we can rearrange the room over the summer.
Appointment notice tomorrow...
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Session was finally run!
I ran a session last night, which, despite a few people not being there, went excellently. The group made it into Astropolis, and after making some connections, they're ready for the next step: taking on the mysterious monopoly that everyone is so paranoid about. Despite being nearly no combat, the session went really well, with some excellent character coming out...
"We're not going to sell them into slavery."
"Yes we are."
"No we're not!"
Also made an appearance was Lambda Squad, the commando team so incompetent, they're unkillable.
Noteworthy as well was the soundtrack: Re-Wind, by Front Line Assembly, a two disc set that lasted about 2/3 through the session and worked perfectly for the game.
I'm still considering switching back to Cyberpunk 2020 at some point, but I'd like to run this game through to its logical and impending conclusion.
"We're not going to sell them into slavery."
"Yes we are."
"No we're not!"
Also made an appearance was Lambda Squad, the commando team so incompetent, they're unkillable.
Noteworthy as well was the soundtrack: Re-Wind, by Front Line Assembly, a two disc set that lasted about 2/3 through the session and worked perfectly for the game.
I'm still considering switching back to Cyberpunk 2020 at some point, but I'd like to run this game through to its logical and impending conclusion.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
An aside and an afront (and an apun)
I realized I have, in the past three blogs, used the phrase "self-centered drama queen with no bearing on reality" 6-7 times, to describe 3-4 different people, and they've all disliked it.
YAY! I have a favorite insult now!
But anyways... this weekend is formal, there is also a four-square tournament, which my Becket years should have equipped me very well for. Additionally, I may run tomorrow night, God-willing. I actually have a plan which should be cool. And if it falls apart, I have an entry for Lambda Squad (severe inside joke, but at least my players like it). I kind of want to write more stuff for AQ, but if I thought I had time to do it I'd be kidding myself. Same with that story, unfortunately. I may have had fun with that.
I also find out about my job appointment next Monday. *crosses fingers*
Got my new passport. I look much less disturbing...but way more badass.
YAY! I have a favorite insult now!
But anyways... this weekend is formal, there is also a four-square tournament, which my Becket years should have equipped me very well for. Additionally, I may run tomorrow night, God-willing. I actually have a plan which should be cool. And if it falls apart, I have an entry for Lambda Squad (severe inside joke, but at least my players like it). I kind of want to write more stuff for AQ, but if I thought I had time to do it I'd be kidding myself. Same with that story, unfortunately. I may have had fun with that.
I also find out about my job appointment next Monday. *crosses fingers*
Got my new passport. I look much less disturbing...but way more badass.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Courtesy of Technorati, I am an Internet Spy
I think I said at one point that I wouldn't do rants in this thing...so I won't start. I'll just say this. I have now seen the ills of long-distance relationships from a personal perspective, and from the perspective of a witness in several cases (3, 4, more maybe). The ones that ended happily, ended the same way. With the relationship ending. That's how life is, especially at college, where work is your life. Very few people have the emotional fortitude to keep it up, and I am not one of those people.
Now, the reason this justifies being in this blog, instead of cooped up somewhere else on the internet. Blogger, our fine WBSP (weblog service provider) is, like livejournal, yahoo, and dmoz, associated with probably one of the awesomest search engines in the history of ever: Technorati. Technorati does tag listings of weblogs from many providers, and also from people who put the code in themselves to be listed. Readers have found me from technorati (usually by searching cyberpunk, at least that's how it used to be), and I enjoy being listed, because this blog at least tries to be content people are interested in. Now...this does mean that if I know one word or phrase that will show up in your blog a lot, I will find you. BECAUSE I AM TEH 1337 H4X0R. Well, no. I just thought that would be amusing.
It is very presumptuous, though, to think that a guy at one of the best CS schools in the country, nigh, the world, wouldn't be able to find something online. Even if I'm a lowly MechE. (*snicker*)
The moral of the story...don't write about people if you don't expect them to see it. Because they will. And then they will change their opinion of you to believe that you're a self-centered drama queen with no bearing on reality.
So, big brother is watching you. And, Technorati is giving me the address to your blog. Muwahahaha...
Now, the reason this justifies being in this blog, instead of cooped up somewhere else on the internet. Blogger, our fine WBSP (weblog service provider) is, like livejournal, yahoo, and dmoz, associated with probably one of the awesomest search engines in the history of ever: Technorati. Technorati does tag listings of weblogs from many providers, and also from people who put the code in themselves to be listed. Readers have found me from technorati (usually by searching cyberpunk, at least that's how it used to be), and I enjoy being listed, because this blog at least tries to be content people are interested in. Now...this does mean that if I know one word or phrase that will show up in your blog a lot, I will find you. BECAUSE I AM TEH 1337 H4X0R. Well, no. I just thought that would be amusing.
It is very presumptuous, though, to think that a guy at one of the best CS schools in the country, nigh, the world, wouldn't be able to find something online. Even if I'm a lowly MechE. (*snicker*)
The moral of the story...don't write about people if you don't expect them to see it. Because they will. And then they will change their opinion of you to believe that you're a self-centered drama queen with no bearing on reality.
So, big brother is watching you. And, Technorati is giving me the address to your blog. Muwahahaha...
I don't do memes, I swear!
Boredom makes me do such as this:
Use your i-pod, computer, whatever music player of your choice and putit on shuffle. Answer each question with the title of each song thatplays. Don't cheat!!!
1. How does the world see you?
Palestina - Ministry
2. Will I have a happy life?
Somebody Got Murdered - The Clash
3. What do my friends think of me?
Mr. Clean - The Jam
4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Dreams of Children - The Jam
5. How can I make myself happy?
Sally - Gogol Bordello
6. What should I do with my life?
Steel Monkey - Jethro Tull
7. Will I ever have children?
Halloween - The Dead Kennedys
8. What is some good advice for me?
Hate and War - The Clash
9. How will I be remembered?
Cat's Squirrel - Jethro Tull
10. What's my signature dancing song?
Katamari on the Rock - Yu Miyake, Masayuki Tanaka
11. What's my current themesong?
Clean Living - RJD2
12. What do others think is my current themesong?
Nazi Punks Fuck Off - The Dead Kennedys
13. What shall they play at my funeral?
Stein Um Stein - Rammstein
14. What type of women do I like?
Peace of Mind - Boston
15. How's my love life?
Song About Old Roller Coaster - Bear Vs. Shark
2, 3, 10, 11, 12, and 14 are interesting. 4 Really worries me. It's kind of funny.
Use your i-pod, computer, whatever music player of your choice and putit on shuffle. Answer each question with the title of each song thatplays. Don't cheat!!!
1. How does the world see you?
Palestina - Ministry
2. Will I have a happy life?
Somebody Got Murdered - The Clash
3. What do my friends think of me?
Mr. Clean - The Jam
4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Dreams of Children - The Jam
5. How can I make myself happy?
Sally - Gogol Bordello
6. What should I do with my life?
Steel Monkey - Jethro Tull
7. Will I ever have children?
Halloween - The Dead Kennedys
8. What is some good advice for me?
Hate and War - The Clash
9. How will I be remembered?
Cat's Squirrel - Jethro Tull
10. What's my signature dancing song?
Katamari on the Rock - Yu Miyake, Masayuki Tanaka
11. What's my current themesong?
Clean Living - RJD2
12. What do others think is my current themesong?
Nazi Punks Fuck Off - The Dead Kennedys
13. What shall they play at my funeral?
Stein Um Stein - Rammstein
14. What type of women do I like?
Peace of Mind - Boston
15. How's my love life?
Song About Old Roller Coaster - Bear Vs. Shark
2, 3, 10, 11, 12, and 14 are interesting. 4 Really worries me. It's kind of funny.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
This is random (how surprising)
I've had a random idea for a story percolating in my head for a while now. It's kind of funny, and I don't really have a plot or anything, but...
The essential idea is this. The story, written from the first person, centers around this guy, who dies in a car accident. Upon reaching Heaven, he fills out an Evaluation Form on the nature of his life and subsequent death. Life wasn't so bad, but he's really annoyed at both the timing and nature of his death. The first big complaint he raises is that he wasn't driving the car. But, as it continues, he gets more and more annoyed at the process, and makes more and more complaints, ranging from reasonable to absolutely ridiculous (when the car swerved off the road, it hit the tree at such an angle that the coffee in the cupholder was thrown directly at his crotch). Finally, the staff get so fed up with the guy that they decide to let him go back. Of course, by this time, the guy has been appealing for several years, and has no interest in returning. As weird as it seemed to him at the time, his true heaven would be a place where he could argue with God to his heart's content.
I'm still a gamer at heart...I realized this guy must be a hardcore rules lawyer.
The essential idea is this. The story, written from the first person, centers around this guy, who dies in a car accident. Upon reaching Heaven, he fills out an Evaluation Form on the nature of his life and subsequent death. Life wasn't so bad, but he's really annoyed at both the timing and nature of his death. The first big complaint he raises is that he wasn't driving the car. But, as it continues, he gets more and more annoyed at the process, and makes more and more complaints, ranging from reasonable to absolutely ridiculous (when the car swerved off the road, it hit the tree at such an angle that the coffee in the cupholder was thrown directly at his crotch). Finally, the staff get so fed up with the guy that they decide to let him go back. Of course, by this time, the guy has been appealing for several years, and has no interest in returning. As weird as it seemed to him at the time, his true heaven would be a place where he could argue with God to his heart's content.
I'm still a gamer at heart...I realized this guy must be a hardcore rules lawyer.
The best possible worst possible thing
Jethro Tull - Inside
All the places I've been make it hard to begin
to enjoy life again on the inside,
but I mean to.
Take a walk around the block
and be glad that I've got me some time
to be in from the outside,
and inside with you.
I'm sitting on the corner feeling glad.
Got no money coming in but I can't be sad.
That was the best cup of coffee I ever had.
And I won't worry about a thing
because we've got it made,
here on the inside, outside so far away.
And we'll laugh and we'll sing
get someone to bring our friends here
for tea in the evening --
Old Jeffrey makes three.
Take a walk in the park,
does the wind in the dark
sound like music to you?
Well I'm thinking it does to me.
Can you cook, can you sew --
well, I don't want to know.
That is not what you need on the inside,
to make the time go.
Counting lambs, counting sheep
we will fall into sleep
and we awake to a new day of living
and loving you so.
I like this song mostly because of the optimism. And the bridge: "I'm sitting in the corner feeling glad"...etc. It just makes me feel happy.
This week is going to be rough, mostly just because there's so much stuff going on. It started really rough, though, and to be true to myself, I freaked out about it. There was a slight bout of obsessive hand-washing (read:Aaron's special trip to the gas station), and the feeling of my necktie actually choking me...that's how tweaked I was. It was a combination of things. I think, I'll go with fear and denial.
Fear is obvious. For a few reasons. Duh. Denial is...well, for one, I was never ready for this. It came like a dynamite train hitting Oak Ridge during a lightning storm. Or, in the hail of some absolutely horrid analogies.
Things have kind of smoothed over. That's good.
You know how many situations you just think "goddamnit, just tell me what you're thinking! You're so damn confusing! Argh!!" I met someone who does. And it is as much of a blessing as I thought it would be.
EDIT: In the storm of vagueness and everything else, things still happened, and now it seems everything will be all right. Working out in the end is a good thing.
All the places I've been make it hard to begin
to enjoy life again on the inside,
but I mean to.
Take a walk around the block
and be glad that I've got me some time
to be in from the outside,
and inside with you.
I'm sitting on the corner feeling glad.
Got no money coming in but I can't be sad.
That was the best cup of coffee I ever had.
And I won't worry about a thing
because we've got it made,
here on the inside, outside so far away.
And we'll laugh and we'll sing
get someone to bring our friends here
for tea in the evening --
Old Jeffrey makes three.
Take a walk in the park,
does the wind in the dark
sound like music to you?
Well I'm thinking it does to me.
Can you cook, can you sew --
well, I don't want to know.
That is not what you need on the inside,
to make the time go.
Counting lambs, counting sheep
we will fall into sleep
and we awake to a new day of living
and loving you so.
I like this song mostly because of the optimism. And the bridge: "I'm sitting in the corner feeling glad"...etc. It just makes me feel happy.
This week is going to be rough, mostly just because there's so much stuff going on. It started really rough, though, and to be true to myself, I freaked out about it. There was a slight bout of obsessive hand-washing (read:Aaron's special trip to the gas station), and the feeling of my necktie actually choking me...that's how tweaked I was. It was a combination of things. I think, I'll go with fear and denial.
Fear is obvious. For a few reasons. Duh. Denial is...well, for one, I was never ready for this. It came like a dynamite train hitting Oak Ridge during a lightning storm. Or, in the hail of some absolutely horrid analogies.
Things have kind of smoothed over. That's good.
You know how many situations you just think "goddamnit, just tell me what you're thinking! You're so damn confusing! Argh!!" I met someone who does. And it is as much of a blessing as I thought it would be.
EDIT: In the storm of vagueness and everything else, things still happened, and now it seems everything will be all right. Working out in the end is a good thing.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Don't you want to know why we keep starting fires...
So, the pledge party was last night, and it was awesome. People showed up, there was lots of dancing, and I wore the tightest pants I probably ever will in my life.
I anticipate a few pictures of me in women's leopard-print bell bottoms will show up on facebook inevitably. I don't blame whoever posts them. Apparently, these pants not only made me very...uh..."touchable", they also caused a few people to shield their eyes in awe. Nah, not really. But it was fun anyway.
I'm remembering some things will always show you something new. Everytime you thought you knew what was going on, a new angle presents itself. For most of my life, these new angles have been disappointments, reminding me of my ignorance, or my naivete. Now, it just seems things keep getting better. You consign yourself to what you think are the bounds of a friendship, and then they expand. You make plans that seem destined to fall through, and they come together fabulously. And you will be taught, that in the annals of pantsless bartending, there is never such a thing as "normal". And this is meant in the absolute best way possible, trust me.
Things continue to build up in the weeks leading to Carnival. Whereas usually I'm pretty frazzled when it comes to the unknown, this I look forward to. Within the next 3 weeks or so, several things will be brought to bear, just because everything is happening at once. Formal on the 8th, room draw on the 9th, job appointments on the 10th...I have this weekend to finish off, then things start getting nuts. It's awesome.
I know I did say at one point, this blog would be more for RP and writing...well, I have neither had time to game, nor write. At the very least, I can give you a bit of insight as to what's happening in its stead.
I've been reading The Perfect Spy, by John LeCarre. I'll post a blurb or review or something when I finish it.
I anticipate a few pictures of me in women's leopard-print bell bottoms will show up on facebook inevitably. I don't blame whoever posts them. Apparently, these pants not only made me very...uh..."touchable", they also caused a few people to shield their eyes in awe. Nah, not really. But it was fun anyway.
I'm remembering some things will always show you something new. Everytime you thought you knew what was going on, a new angle presents itself. For most of my life, these new angles have been disappointments, reminding me of my ignorance, or my naivete. Now, it just seems things keep getting better. You consign yourself to what you think are the bounds of a friendship, and then they expand. You make plans that seem destined to fall through, and they come together fabulously. And you will be taught, that in the annals of pantsless bartending, there is never such a thing as "normal". And this is meant in the absolute best way possible, trust me.
Things continue to build up in the weeks leading to Carnival. Whereas usually I'm pretty frazzled when it comes to the unknown, this I look forward to. Within the next 3 weeks or so, several things will be brought to bear, just because everything is happening at once. Formal on the 8th, room draw on the 9th, job appointments on the 10th...I have this weekend to finish off, then things start getting nuts. It's awesome.
I know I did say at one point, this blog would be more for RP and writing...well, I have neither had time to game, nor write. At the very least, I can give you a bit of insight as to what's happening in its stead.
I've been reading The Perfect Spy, by John LeCarre. I'll post a blurb or review or something when I finish it.
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